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If movies were more like real life

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The Oscars are being presented soon. Many movies revolve around youth, swearing, violence and speed.
They seem to cater to a young crowd. Perhaps they eat more popcorn and drink more pop.
I recommend remaking some of the old classics to revive the interest of the older population.
Gone With the Wind - the story of a old man who discovers a method for encouraging guests to rush outside to the fresh air and go home.
Jaws - the story of a chap and his endless search for his "choppers." Can he get his dentures relined so they remain in his mouth longer?
Lincoln - the story of a old fellow who possesses a 1962 Lincoln Town Car and his desperate attempt to keep it filled with gas. Can he successfully increase his fuel economy?
Shot in the Dark - the story of an old guy in constant conflict with his wife because of misfires on his nightly bathroom visits. Watch as his spouse tells him to "turn on the damn light, and put the seat back down."
Speed - a gentleman is scorned by motorists as he drives his old car at 15 km/h. Watch as he thrusts his third finger in the air and yells obscenities out the window.
The Great Escape - a man avoids household duties by pretending to not hear his spouse as she reaches for the job jar. Can he successfully get out the door and to the golf course before all hell breaks loose? Watch the events unfold as he returns home five hours later.
Dark Knight - the story of a man stumbling around in the dark because his wife thinks she hears something downstairs. Watch the hilarious scene where he falls head first down the stairs and breaks his collar bone.
With movies like this, seniors like me would return to the theatres.
Perhaps the management might provide Jello cups and herbal tea instead of the usual fare.
Jim Jenkins,
West Kelowna

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