Get Your Jollies Here

‘Tis the season to be jolly. Christmas, the holiday everyone loves to hate. The one good thing about this time of year is the HO, HO, HO spirit. 

For a few brief days, we get a glimpse at the milk of human kindness; people greeting total strangers with a warm smile and a nod of the head. Children are on their best behaviour because we lied to them about a man in a red suite that can magically see if they’ve been naughty or nice. That would’ve been a great power to have in high school; naughty or nice girls. 

I love the bright holiday lights, the garish colours and the scent of fake pine perfuming the air. All the aisles glitter with sale signs offering a limited time, limited stock at 50% off. How can you pass up a deal like this? Hurry, buy now before the impulse passes and common sense takes over. 

I hate to shop at the best of times; I run in get the item and run (more of an amble) out. My pokey Pooky however can wonder for hours hunting deals like a bloodhound on the trail of a pork chop.  

One day, Shnoogims didn’t feel very well so she stayed home on her usual shopping Saturday; when the phone rang and I picked it up but it was the wrong number. After they hung up, I continued: “...Yes I’ll tell her. OK, I got the message. I said I’ll tell her, I promise, thank you for calling.”

And of course, she’s (being a woman) asking what, who, where, when and why? I told her it was Walmart and they’re wondering where the hell you’re at. 

I thought it was funny. Which brings us to the Grinches of the world. I feel sorry for these people; the little kid in their soul has died. 

Luckily, I was born with a funny bone, a trick knee and silly-putty for brains. I highly recommended it for a lifestyle. Wouldn’t you rather have a glass half full of the good stuff?  

Close your eyes (after reading) and remember a childhood Christmas. Now try not to feel a little happy or stop the corners of your mouth from not curling up. 

May I relay my favourite Christmas story: 

Money didn’t grow on our trees that year, but somehow mom and dad gave my brother and I $20 to shop for one another. I knew just what to give him (and I could use it too). 

The old adage that it is better to give than it is to receive couldn’t have been truer that Christmas morning. I knew he’d love my gift; I couldn’t wait to see his face as he opened his brand-new pellet rifle. 

He was so happy he started laughing like he was being tickled. But straight away he couldn’t wait for me to open my gift. It was just what I wanted – a brand-new pellet rifle. The little trickster followed me around the store to see what I’d buy him. It still makes the corners of my mouth curl. 

My Christmas wish is that you get that warm and fuzzy feeling this Christmas. I hope the child in you never dies. Remember

giving really is better than receiving.  

We could all use a little joy in our lives, so why not give someone some joy or cash works too. Tip a minimum wage worker.